Character Corner: To what are you loyal?

  • Published
  • By Capt. Kari Granger
  • Center for Character and Leadership Development
U.S. AIR FORCE ACADEMY, Colo. --  The struggle between integrity and loyalty is older than Mitchell Hall -- the ageless cadet debate, both intrinsic and shared, between turning in a classmate and thereby preserving my integrity or protecting a friend and thereby preserving my loyalty. It's easy to choose between "right" and "wrong," but choosing between two "rights" can be considerably more difficult. I was once a cadet, but when I returned as a faculty member in 2006, I was not surprised to hear that the struggle continues, even though the same accepted solution, "You should turn the person in. It's the right thing to do," still reigns as if it were as easy as just saying it.

The difficulty is that we see integrity and loyalty as being at odds, somehow moving in opposite directions. We have created a conflict in which, to be seen as loyal, we must violate our integrity.

However, I assert that we have somehow confused loyalty with being admired by our colleagues. In the end, we sacrifice our own values and standards, our integrity, in order to be seen as loyal.

Although difficult to admit, the struggle comes from a pretense of wanting to "look good." Instead of being committed to the other person, we are truly only committed to not losing his or her admiration, camaraderie, and the relationship.

So what is it to be loyal? Loyalty is defined as "unswerving in allegiance", "faithful to a cause, ideal ..." So the real questions are, to what are you faithful, and to what do you have an unswerving allegiance? In reality, when a colleague falters and we "cover" for him, we are only being loyal to his failures. Is your unswerving allegiance to his failures or to his greatness -- the ideal of who he is capable of being?

This is not to say it is easy to be straight with people with whom you have a bond; this is where the "unswerving" and "faithful" parts come in. What we must confront, though, is not loyalty per se. Instead, we must confront how readily we sacrifice our personal integrity, that to which we are truly and deeply committed, in exchange for admiration. Until we are honest with ourselves and confront our own need for admiration, the debate between integrity and loyalty will continue. To what are you most loyal: another person's admiration for you or a commitment to who this other person can become?

Note: I thank Werner Erhard for his contribution to the ideas expressed in this article.