Families: The Quiet Warriors

  • Published
  • By Retired Chief Master Sgt. Bob Vasquez
  • Center for Character and Leadership Development
U.S. AIR FORCE ACADEMY, Colo. --  Wikipedia describes Veterans Day as "an annual American holiday honoring military veterans." It goes on to describe a veteran as "a person who has or is working in the armed forces, or a person who has had long service or experience in an occupation or
office." 

At the risk of alienating my brothers and sisters in arms with whom I served more than 30 years, and without disrespecting, in any way, those warriors who have sacrificed much more than I could even imagine, there is another group of "veterans" we sometimes forget to honor, even take for granted. But they should be honored right along those who have worn uniforms. They too are Warriors. They're the Quiet Warriors. 

We don't have a holiday in their honor. They just go on doing what we expect of them and reap no real benefits from their sacrifices. I've often said, and have always believed, that the folks who truly have the toughest job to do in the military are the families. They're the Quiet Warriors. 

Now, don't get me wrong. After more than 30 years of active-duty service and seeing all that I saw in those years, I know our warriors have a tough job to do. But, you know, we warriors sign up to do those tough jobs. When we go to battle we know that there's a possibility of not returning. When we get into battle we do what we're trained to do and we know what our responsibilities are. A warrior accepts the fact that, if required, he or she will give their life for fellow warriors and his or her country. 

Military families don't sign up for any of that. The really young families don't know that part of their contract is to possibly live a large portion of their lives without their spouse or without their parent. Oh, we tell them, but being told and living it are two different things. 

I recall, while assigned to Ramstein Air Base in Germany not too long ago, I'd take every opportunity I could to go out to the Distinguished Visitor Hangar as a C-130 Hercules, C-5 Galaxy, C-17 Globemaster III or some other type of aircraft would make its turn toward that hangar. I'd stand there at attention and wait. I'd wait until the DVs in the aircraft were taken off. They called this the Fallen Soldier Formation. The DVs were Warriors. They were taken off in flag-draped coffins. Luckily, Germany is usually wet most of the year, so I often credited the moisture in my eyes to the weather. 

As I'd stand there at attention, saluting my brothers and sisters in arms who made the ultimate sacrifice for that flag that stands for all that's right in this world, I'd think about that little boy or girl whose daddy or mommy was not coming home as expected. What do you tell a 3- or 4-year old son or daughter who asks, "Where's my mommy?" or, "When's Daddy coming home?" Oh, you tell them the truth as best you can. You tell them they're heroes and you hug them and assure them that all will be well ... in time. 

I'd also think about the spouse who already had twice the work to do for what was supposed to be a relatively short time, but now would have these responsibilities for life. Military families have always had the toughest jobs, and they always will. They're the Quiet Warriors. They deserve to be Time magazine's Persons of the Year every year. 

We should never forget the sacrifices past warriors have made for us, but at the same time, we should always remember the service our military families provided those warriors so that they could do what they did. And their work never stops. They continue to be the backbone of the Warrior Spirit. 

Veterans Day is a great day to honor all our Warriors. Let's make this a great day to honor our military families, the Quiet Warriors.